idontcareforgob:

officialgarrusvakarian:

we-are-star-stuff:

zerostatereflex:

An Octopus unscrewing a lid from the inside.

Octopuses are going to kill us all someday

I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.

Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank

Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.

An octopus in Germany was annoyed by a bright light shining into his tank, so he climbed up over the rim and squirted water at it to short it

Fuckin’ octopuses, man. 

nelimeli:

grizzlygains:

happyhalloweekes:

spoopy-shanin:

I’m not too late for the cute lil ghosts, right?

Of course you have to drag it and be amazed

THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET

alopunk

nelimeli:

grizzlygains:

happyhalloweekes:

spoopy-shanin:

I’m not too late for the cute lil ghosts, right?

Of course you have to drag it and be amazed

THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET

alopunk

onlylolgifs:

baby arctic fox tries to eat a man alive

Bold what applies to you!

kittcute:

Basics

I am male
I am female
I am neither male or female
I am under the age of 18
I am 18 or older
I am straight
I am gay or lesbian
I am bisexual or pansexual 
I am trans

Friendship

I have two or more friends
I have one friend
I have no friends
I have/had a best friend
I am close with my friend(s)
I spend a lot of time with friends
I have a crush on a friend
I hate a friend
I wish I had fewer friends
I wish I had more friends

Relationships

I am single
I am in a relationship
I am engaged
I am married
I am a virgin
I often date
I prefer to date extroverted people
I prefer to date people who are like me
I prefer to date people who are unlike me
I take relationships very seriously
I have high standards
I date people who are overweight
I date people who are skinny
I date people who are of average body weight


Negativity


I have/had depression
I have cried myself to sleep
I have/had anxiety
I am often lonely
I keep a lot of emotions inside 
I am scared of talking to people I want to talk more to
I have/had an eating disorder
I have low self-esteem
I often feel I embarrass myself
I have been abused
I feel people consider me dumb or don’t take me seriously
I am quickly jealous
I feel people want me to be someone/something I’m not
I have been sexually assaulted
I have experienced discrimination/racism

Positivity

I have become a better person
I have gotten out of a bad period of time
I am confident
I am looking forward to something
I have enjoyed myself over the past week
I have met a famous person
I consider myself a kindhearted person
I am currently feeling relaxed and comfortable
I appreciate the little things in life
I have nobody in my life whom I hate
I have achieved something large this year
I am part of a religion that brings me peace
I have lost a lot of weight
I have a movie/game/song which cheers me up

I…

…get scared from watching horror movies
play a sport
…read a lot of books
have allergies
…feel shy around the opposite gender
…am a feminist
…believe in love at first sight
…own an instrument
…can draw
am listening to music right now
…value romance and friendship equally
have sneaked out of the house
am outgoing
…respect people’s comfort zones and personal space
…am deaf
…spend money on a daily basis
…want to write a book
…can ride a horse
…am asexual
…put my hands over my face when I’m flattered
…like the colors pink and yellow
…own an xbox
…shop at least once a week
…have a drivers license
drink alcoholic beverages
…would like more friends of the opposite gender
…get scared by unsettling imagery and screamers
…eat fast food at least twice a week


Likes and Dislikes


I like parties
I dislike parties
I like perfume
I dislike perfume
I like “so bad it’s good” movies
I dislike “so bad it’s good movies”
I like playing video games
I dislike playing video games
I like chocolate
I dislike chocolate
I like having a busy schedule
I dislike having a busy schedule
I like laughing at my own jokes
I dislike laughing at my own jokes
I like compliments
I dislike compliments
I like heavy metal music
I dislike heavy metal music
I like snow
I dislike snow
I like taking walks with someone
I dislike taking walks with someone
I like people who aren’t very talkative
I dislike people who aren’t very talkative 

nappotuna:

pit gave link his money since he didn’t figure out how monopoly worked

nappotuna:

pit gave link his money since he didn’t figure out how monopoly worked

creeproll:

I’ve literally been laughing at this for the past five minutes

creeproll:

I’ve literally been laughing at this for the past five minutes

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

zeldacw-love:

keiggy:

Look at his fucking legs He doesn’t even fucking fit in the fucking kart I’m gonna D I E

Poor Link…XD
pretty much all the other characters in Mario world have short legs and big heads, Link is really at a disadvantage here….=u=
I wanna see Kirby racing too…>u<

zeldacw-love:

keiggy:

Look at his fucking legs
He doesn’t even fucking fit in the fucking kart I’m gonna D I E

Poor Link…XD

pretty much all the other characters in Mario world have short legs and big heads, Link is really at a disadvantage here….=u=

I wanna see Kirby racing too…>u<

curepimmy:

childpom:

disparateyouth:

homura soft resets the timeline to get a shiny madoka

image

image

annulet:

pomfette:

i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven

UR FACE THOUGH IM LAUGHING TREMENDOUSLY 

annulet:

pomfette:

i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven

UR FACE THOUGH IM LAUGHING TREMENDOUSLY 

damnitfeelsgoodtobeafangirl:

"Next time, I’m learning that telekinesis spell.."
I wanted to draw a cute witch girl so yeah

damnitfeelsgoodtobeafangirl:

"Next time, I’m learning that telekinesis spell.."

I wanted to draw a cute witch girl so yeah